Op-Ed: I’m a sexual assault survivor; this legislation could have protected me – LI Press

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Hello, Reader!
In December 2021, I was sexually assaulted by someone I worked with at a mortgage bank in Uniondale, where I’d just started working, fresh out of college. The person who harmed me was not a stranger; he was instrumental in my hiring process and played a direct role in bringing me into the company. I was young, ambitious, and excited for what felt like the start of my dream career. Within days, that dream unraveled.
After the assault, I was told not to come into the office and then fired. Soon after, I lost my position as a cheer coach in my hometown. In a matter of weeks, I lost my income, my professional identity, and my sense of security. 
I was later diagnosed with PTSD and struggled for months, feeling as though I was living in a dream I could not wake up from. With a friend’s encouragement, I sought legal help after the assault, believing I was taking the right steps. I filed a civil case under the recently enacted Adult Survivors Act and reported the incident to the appropriate authorities. It was through the Adult Survivors Act that I was given a chance to seek justice. 
I was grateful for that opportunity. But what happened next revealed a deeper flaw in our system.
After filing suit, I endured retaliation tactics, harassment, and professional consequences while trying to rebuild my life in the mortgage industry. The defense attorneys for my former employer obtained my medical records, subjected me to hours of deposition questioning, and even created parody videos mocking sexual assault in the workplace using the mortgage bank’s media company.
Eventually, I was offered a settlement, which I accepted to try to put the legal ordeal behind me. I made sure not to sign any confidentiality agreement. It was extremely important to me that I could tell my story and help prevent others from experiencing the same abuse.
During Sexual Assault Awareness Month last year, I posted a video to social media sharing my story after clearing it with my attorney. Within the hour, I was informed that my abuser’s attorneys had reached out to mine, threatening a defamation suit against me. While I have not yet been sued, I was advised that defending such a claim could cost tens of thousands of dollars. The threat alone took a physical and emotional toll. I was later diagnosed with vocal nodules and muscle tension dysphonia, all while navigating the fear that speaking the truth could financially devastate me.
The message was clear: speak, and you will be punished. This is the reality many survivors face.
Retaliatory defamation threats are not just celebrity headline cases. They happen to everyday people. In the wake of high-profile defamation trials, survivor advocates reported a noticeable increase in survivors hesitating to come forward, fearing retaliation, public scrutiny, and financial devastation. Legal intimidation becomes a tool to silence survivors, drain resources, and deter others from coming forward.
Abusers frequently use legal threats as a weapon to silence survivors, drain our resources, and punish us into submission. The financial burden alone can be staggering. According to the National Women’s Law Center, even a meritless defamation lawsuit can cost between $21,000 and $55,000 to defend, and in many cases, escalate to six or seven figures.
Oregon and California have recognized this danger and enacted protections to shield survivors from retaliatory defamation suits, ensuring they are not financially ruined for speaking about their abuse. These laws show that it is possible to safeguard survivors while still protecting legitimate free speech and provide a model for New York to follow.
It is time for New York to act. Survivors should never have to choose between telling the truth and facing new legal harassment. Had legislation like this existed when I came forward, I would’ve been protected from the re-traumatization and extreme emotional distress while trying to heal. New York has come so far in protecting survivors. This is the next step in their meaningful and righteous work. 
If we truly believe in justice, we must ensure that those who speak about abuse are protected from further harm. Speaking the truth should not require risking everything.
I share my story not for sympathy, but for change. Silence protects systems, not survivors.
New York, it is time to act.
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